There are several factors to consider in choosing what programs to buy for your child. This is an important decision since the type of things your child spends his time using on the computer may determine what he learns and ultimately how he progress in school and with his social skills with others. The following is a list of factors you should think about before making a purchase.
1.  First you should decide whether you want a game or an educational program.
2. If you choose a game then consider the content of the game. Violent games may encourage violent behavior. Games with moral content may encourage moral behavior. Keep in mind that the type of game may effect your child' behavior.
3.  Consider the level of the game whether it is designed for your child's age group. Remember to consider if your child is smarter then most children you may want a game designed for an older age group so he does not get bored with the game. If your child is not learning quickly and his skills are generally lower then his age group you may consider programs designed for kids of a lower age group.
4.  Consider whether the game contains characters or topics of interest to your particular child. For example if your child likes the character Dora you may want to buy games that have Dora included!
5.  Visibility of the game may be important. If your child is color blind a game which uses a lot of colors may not be helpful to him. If the game has a lot of writing and subtitles and your child cannot yet read it may not be good for him. Generally, children that cannot yet read may respond with more elaborate and colorful games then a child that can read. Similarly, if the child cannot hear well then more visual pictures in the program may be more effective for him. 
6.  If you choose an educational game or other games it is important to check whether the authors describe research that confirms that the child will learn for the game. For example, there is a game called "Head Sprout"(recently purchased by another company)  that does have research that confirms that the children do learn to read from using the program. Games that have been scientifically validated to use psychological principles that are effective are the games to choose for your child! 
7.  Always consider the child's preferences before making a final decision discuss the options or even show him the games to get his input and assure that he will like the game. 
8.  Try to select games that include some reinforcer after correct performance if possible within the game! 
Generally, the most important factor is to choose games that are validated to be effective. Secondly, to choose games that match your child's individual needs. 

People often start to get agitated and then it escalates into a tantrum. Parents and caregivers often have to   deescalate the situation or calm it down after it occurs. The following is a list of possible steps to take beginning with deescalation and then to calming a situation. Each person is different so an observation and analysis of the tantrum behavior will help and is essential to identify which methods to use.
1.  If the caregiver or parent observes any facial expressions, movements or behavior that show agitation it is best to intervene at this point. The intervention can include relaxation techniques, redirection or a cue word to calm the person down.
2.  Once the behavior starts to begin or even when the precursor facial expressions begin the parent/caregiver can redirect the person to another activity or distract them by discussing another topic.
3.  Another method of deescalation is to provide some relaxation methods for the person. Perhaps the person is tired and the caregiver can ask if they want to lay down or take a drink of water to relax. 
4.  Finally, if the behavior has started to occur then usually removing the person from the environment, moving the audience away or ignoring the person and engaging in another activity will deescalate the behavior. 
5. Finally any major reinforcers such as affection or activities preferred should not occur if the behavior has escalated at all into verbal or physical aggression. 
6. Also, in some cases training or physical management might be necessary if tissue dammage is imminent. 7. 7. However, on of the  best way to avoid aggression or tantrusm from occuring is to fill the time during the day with activities and reinforcers for those activities.Finally one should seek advice of a trained Behavior Analyst for aggression or tantrums. 

The latest trend is to purchase an iPad or computer and assume that this will teach your child everything!
There are three important things to note about the use of an electronic device.

First, the computer itself does not teach your child. If the software has reinforcers built into the games or activities that you purchased then this might work. However, if your child does not like the particular reinforcer in the program then the child will not learn. For example, if your child likes music and the reinforcer in the game is music delivered for a correct response then the child will not learn.  Before purchasing a game it is important to look at the game and see if the reinforcers are included.

Secondly, it should be noted that many games are specifically designed to include reinforcers and many are not.  Some are based on psychological research including games such as those developed by "Headsprout" ( recently purchased  by another company) and many others. Parents should read and look at the information about the games to see if they are based on research or psychological principles such as reinforcement. 

Third, parents should also consider the skills taught by the electronic device. Are these skills you want your child to learn. There are games to learn most anything such as spelling, reading, self-care skills, morals, social skills and much more.  I contrast it should be noted that children might model some behavior in games and there is such discussion and research that indicates that some aggression can be learned from modeling of television or games. This should be considered in your purchase of a game. Games your children might like might have some benefits and some deficits in their affect on your child's' behavior. All of these factors should be weighed and considered before purchasing a device and programs for your child. 

In choosing which exercises to work on first more frequently in a child with poor motor skills and aspirer or autism one should think about the functional skill deficits of the child. If a child is having difficulty using a fork or spoon then sports or leisure activities that emphasize the hands may be beneficial since you will be strengthening these muscles and movements.  Exercises that stress the lower body are also beneficial but if the priority is to develop self-care skills that require more dexterity then he as the fine motor movements should be emphasized. Some leisure activities such as using an iPad may also improve fine motor skills. 

Finally, one should also consider forks or spoons for example that are easier for the child with motor problems to use. Considering the selection of equipment and leisure or sports activities can be important in promotion of more rapid learning of self-care and daily living skills in children with both motor and Autism or  Attention problems. 

The latest trend is to buy and iPad, Ipod or other computer gadget and expect learning to magically occur. In most cases more is needed. I a few cases the child may learn on their own but in most cases parents should consider the following in order to have success. One point is that often a child with autism is not visually motivated to use the equipment. In this case the parent can motivate the child with extrinsic reinforcers for use of the equipment. For example, if the child plays one educational game or looks around on the web for 30  minutes then the child receives a preferred food snack such as chips or an activity.  Another point is that the computer must have reinforcers within the aps that reward the child automatically. For example there are programs such as "head sprout" that include reinforcers within the educational game at the end of a correct response by the child. Parents should be careful to set-up reinforcers within the device programs and extrinsic reinforcers in order to achieve optimal chances of success when purchasing an electronic gadget so that the money is put to good use and learning occurs in the child!!